Welcome back to my monthly review! It’s been a minute (first one since 2018? Weird).
Last month ended on a…fairly negative note; I’ve been involved in a lawsuit for approximately four years now, and we were supposed to have a meeting in May to determine if it was finally done or if it would stretch on for another several years. Regardless the decision, it’s been quite the (unpleasant) ride. Buuuuut then the meeting was cancelled very last-minute, and now I wait again.
Aside from the annoyance of that, it resulted in me having to shift around several months worth of plans, and cancel a few things I was really looking forward to, in order to accommodate the new dates.
And I get it, but that really…did not put me in a great mood going into the month.
Despite this, I resolved to make the most of June and dang did I succeed!
This has been a decently lovely month, even though I haven’t been around here in a bit – I started a new (very) part-time day job which, while not particularly riveting, I’m really enjoying it, and I’m proud of the work I’ve accomplished to get back to being a person who is able to work for others. Go therapy!
I redid my Twitter bio (I’m very proud of this, okay??), saw a couple of my favourite clients, and got a chance to read at a Naked Boys Reading again – which I haven’t done since 2015! I read a piece from Francisco Ibáñez Carrasco’s book Giving it Raw: Nearly 30 Years With AIDS on barebacking, safer sex, drugs, and Pride. It was fantastic and his writing is almost devastatingly beautiful; begging to be spoken rather than read, captivating and just…incredible. I looked fantastic and, of course, read the same way I have sex – naked, with my socks and boots still on.
I bought a couple straight razors! Why? Because I’m a filthy pervert, y’all. Wanna hear about straight razor kinks? Drop me a note and let me know if there are any specific angles you want covered (womp womp, great puns). I discovered that I have a major boner for John Wick and Lucifer. I draped myself in third-hand furs. I strengthened several relationships with people I fell out of touch with who I adore. I spent time with a very cute girl and a very cute nonbinary babe (and their extended polyam fam). I was mostly unmedicated brain-wise, and mostly liked it. I made blueberry jam for the first time. I died a bisexual pride flag into someone’s hair. I went to Trans Pride (and had two very different and fantastic looks). I dressed like a misandrist. I got to enjoy Lake Ontario during a gorgeous sunset. I fell in love with a hot dog bag. I traveled to Saskatoon and am currently sprawled naked in bed with Nillin (they say “hi”!) and one of their lovely partners. I’m gearing up for what’s likely to be my last trip to Edmonton. I adopted the cutest lil cactus.
I guess what I’m saying is that I kicked some serious butt.
Ever been shamed for being in love? (Via Pretty Pink Lotus Bud)
“I have a lot of insecurities around being in love. Why? Because I distinctly recall being shamed for being in love and for the way I behave when I’m in love even though I’m not hurting a soul. […] So now here I am in love again and I just feel all levels of guilt about it. The lover just listens as I speculate on how others, who see us together often, our family, our friends are judging our relationship.”
Betty is at it again – I love her writing so much and highly recommend it. “When people try to erase or ignore my fatness for the sake of being politely inclusive, they reinforce the narrative that bodies like mine are abstract – just another shape in a world of shapes – and thus my dimensions don’t warrant purposeful consideration.”
My Journey to Bottom Surgery (Via Kelvin Sparks)
“And, honestly, I do feel shame around wanting bottom surgery. Shame because I worry that I’m being cisnormative by wanting a penis. Shame because I’ve internalised the narrative that trans men’s bottom surgery results are “less appealing” and/or aren’t “functional”. Shame because ‘man with a vagina’ is so often used as a synonym for ‘trans man’ that I worry there will no longer be a place for me in the trans community once I have bottom surgery. And shame because I have never seen a trans man who’s had bottom surgery presented, read, or described as desirable in any space or any form of media, and part of me worries that once I have bottom surgery, nobody will want me.” OOF.
The Things We Do for Love (Via Scandarella)
“the wait is excruciating. I don’t know where he’ll start, I don’t know how much it’s going to hurt. He shifts, taking his chair with him, no longer at my side but my knees. He leans over, I take the quietest, deepest breath I’ve ever taken. Then the heel of his hand presses into my pubic mound and I shudder. I can’t help it. The buzzing falters and I know he’s looking at me, but I force myself not to look back.” I’ve talked before about my interest in tattooing-as-kink, and here’s some hot erotica about that, dang.
who’s queer? whose queer? on claims, identities and kink (among other things) at pride – part 2 (Via Andrea Zanin)
“I saw a tweet go by the other day decrying kinksters because we apparently ‘stigmatize the queer community as sexual.’ Stigmatize. As sexual. What did you think queerness was rooted in—interior decorating? Wedding ceremonies? Perhaps our timeless tradition of chaste strolls in suburban malls? Come the fuck on.”
Did you accomplish something this month that you were proud of? Was there something that I talked about that inspired or frustrated you? Did you read any of the above pieces? Leave a comment on their site or share them on social media to let them know you liked what they wrote! Thanks to the above authors for their amazing work!