The Best Of: October + #SoSS


  • Packer Gear (left) and Sport (right)
    This month I released six other pieces; last month’s wrap up, a spotlight for On Queer Street and one for Risque Views, an article on why brats are fucking great, a fear-play erotica, and the crowd-favourite on using STPs for watersports!
  • I really do feel like I’m starting to remember why I wanted to do this in the first place, and I’m excited about getting back to that. I didn’t realize how much I had internalized the pressure to follow other people’s direction instead of writing what I’m passionate about, and I hope I can find a way to regain that (more permanently).
  • I did a big photoshoot this month for a few escorts! You can see these new shots soon on Eda Blackwood‘s OnlyFans, or on Foxy Roxie and Reina East‘s websites! Escorts are some of my favourite people to take photos of, and these three were no exception (plus Eda helped me test my new Oxyd Creations strap on harness!)
  • Need help with your photos? I offer discounted rates for bloggers/educators – I’m available edit your shots, to provide guidance/suggestion/feedback on your shots, or to take photos (if I have access to what you need).
  • I joined in on this last week’s Sex Talk Tuesday, which was an excellent talk on virginity, run by Ryan (@TrojanSniper)
  • Uh, y’all liked me this month, wow. I received more traffic this month than I did in my entire first year writing, and 3.5x more hits than my former best post. I hope you enjoy what you read enough to stick around!

Travel & Misc

  • My dominant’s visit went incredibly well! We did a bit of local traveling, took lots of photos, and caught my first-ever showing of Rocky Horror as a live play! It was probably the best visit he and I have had in a while, frankly.
  • In a few days I’m off for my next adventure where I’ll be heading to Baltimore, Saskatoon (first time in Saskatchewan!), and Edmonton! I’m looking forward to seeing Indigo and Mr BLK & Ms Pomegranate, and getting to meet Nillin! There are other people I’m hoping to see as well (maybe C, Artemisia, and Rae?), but those plans aren’t confirmed.
  • three photos of Taylor. Left, in leather pants, a white shirt, and a fancy black vest with black suspenders. Right top, same outfit plus an unbuttoned red waistcoat. Right bottom, same outfit, waistcoat buttoned up, a large hat, and holding a bullwhip
    I was a Ringmaster! (Featuring my suspenders!)
    I kept Halloween fairly low-key; the Saturday before I went to Samantha’s house for a party (and got to spend a bit of time with Kate, Rey, and a boy so cute that I don’t know how to string words together, even though I’ve met him a half-dozen times!
  • On actual Halloween night, I wandered through the Church Street crowd a bit, but mostly just spent the rainy night indoors, like the old man I am.
  • I attended my first Impulse party! Impulse is a dance/dungeon event here and HOLY CRAP do people ever go all-out! It’s very rare that I’m underdressed to a party but shit y’all. I didn’t even come CLOSE here, dang. I got to work my itch out a bit and do some rope bondage, impact play, and some light cutting with two of my friends who I very rarely see, and had a lovely night. The next one is in February, we’ll see if I manage to remember that…
  • One of my friends started teaching me how to play with fire. I obviously plan to use this for kink once I level up a bit, but for now I simply get to enjoy learning neat tricks like fire swallowing. Interested in fire things? They made a short video showing off!
  • I’m thinking of drastically altering how I live in the new year. Things are a bit too-soon-to-tell, but I’m thinking that I’ll transition to only living in Toronto part-time. More on this later!
  • Blogger Guidebook
    I’ve made the most progress creating resource lists for where to guest post and appear on podcasts, which I will be posting on my site as I work on them – first I need to find a plugin that displays Google Sheets in an aesthetic way; suggestions? I hate all of the ones that I’ve looked at. Want to help with the guidebook? Great! Send me a message, I could use some more help on this! I’ve received a couple excellent quotes from folks, but I’m really looking for more established people to lend a hand – anywhere from a few words to a few pages is welcome on topics such as imposter syndrome, building community, figuring out affiliates, and more.

    Don’t know what this is all about? People have said that they need transparent access to information. This guidebook will contain information ranging from setting up a site to making pitches to where you can appear in podcasts/guest posts/twitter chats to common pitfalls to dealing with imposter syndrome and more. This book will be free and publicly available on the internet for everyone to access. Get in touch to contribute!

  • Accessibility Upgrade
    I’d love to prioritize this, considering how important it is, and so I’ve come up with several enticing and permanent ways you can advertise through my site while sponsoring accessibility. Email me to hear more! Anyone can sponsor; companies, manufacturers, other educators, or anyone with a website, and there are options for every budget!

    Don’t know what this is all about?
     I’m working to improve the accessibility of my site by adding alt text to all images without them; making sure all the posts have accurate trigger warnings where needed; going over the language I’ve used and correcting anything that I notice to be offensive, rude, or incorrect; and adding audio recordings of me reading my essays to each piece.
BDSM Diaries: My collar and what it means to me (Via Little Switch Bitch)

Collars! I love pieces about collars, and their importance to the people who wear them. I love the emotion LSB puts into this piece, writing about various collars she has and why, the pride she feels in being his. It makes me think of my own experiences with collars and the comfort and meaning that they bring me, too. The discussion surrounding how and why her collar and wedding ring are symbolically and emotionally different to her, even though they’re from the same partner, is a really interesting one to me, and one I think I’d agree with if I were married (collar being more important than a ring).

Don’t compare yourself (Via Isabelle Lauren)

Oof relatable piece. Isabelle discusses the pros and cons of taking a break/ending her blog, the toll that takes emotionally, and the dangers in measuring success/value in page hits, Twitter likes, and income. It’s hard to take a step back from that (especially when you’re low-income), but this article does a really good job of summing up how I’ve been feeling about my own work for the last year or so.

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How I Use Habitica for (Sex) Blogging (Via Betty Butch)

If you’ve been following me for a minute, you know that I fucking love any kind of tool to help me stay organized, motivated, or productive, sometimes to the point that I waste time “becoming organized” with the new tool. Betty breaks down Habitica and how to use it, giving examples at each step that are specific to sex blogging, and then talks about the cute little rewards and inspirational affirmations that you can get from it!

I need my children to see me in love (Via Pretty Pink Lotus Bud)

There aren’t many people (that I know of) writing about polyamory and parenting, and this really should change. Victoria’s piece beautifully goes into why it’s so important to her that her children grow up seeing her in love, how it impacted her to not have that experience with her own mother, and how she decided to introduce her children to the person she’s in love with, and how that felt.

Ways You Can Help Trans, Non-binary, and GNC People (Via Chronic Sex)

Chronic Sex put together a great resource for how to help trans, non binary, and gender non-conforming (GNC) people, specifically in the States. This list includes action-items such as how to contact your reps or how to educate  yourself, places to donate (organizations, legal, and individuals) with brief descriptions so you know who/what they are and are trying to do. Not sure how to help? Now you do.

Did you accomplish something this month that you were proud of? Was there something that I talked about that inspired or frustrated you? Did you read any of the above pieces? Leave a comment on their site or share them on social media to let them know you liked what they wrote! Thanks to the above authors for their amazing work and to my Patrons Kaja and Jade for helping to sponsor this post!Want more like this? Subscribe to my Patreon to ensure more quality content!