I have been lusting after lexan impact toys for what feels like eons (when Kate Sloan got hers, my lust intensified so very, very much); I love the weight of them, the amount of flex they have while still being fairly sturdy, I love how they hit, and most of all I love how they look. Why do I love this so much? Well – they are see-through, you see. Which means that you get to see the sub’s butt flatten through the paddle as you beat them. Which is very important, if you ask me.
Yet despite my intense lust, I had yet to actually go out and acquire one of my own for one simple reason: Every time I saw them in stores, they came unwrapped. What this means is that they’ve been bumping up against other toys/etc and have landed on the shelf covered in scratches. Part of my concern here is cosmetics – I want my toys to look nice – but the rest is practical – I don’t know what has happened to the toy or what it has been exposed to, but it is visibly harmed. There are small cuts all over the toy that I now have to work to sterilize before using, and will impact how I use and clean the toy every time from then on.
I expect a toy to break down with use, I expect it to end up tarnished, scratched, and dinged. But I’d like to know what caused it to get in that state and if I should retire the toy to a “one partner only” toy or if it’s safe to share. I want to know if all those small little crevices of my toy has been exposed to blood, which I can’t know for sure if it’s pre-scratched.
So I put the impact toy away every time, and go back to fantasizing about them.
When I finally did get one – the HURTME: Bulletproof Paddle with holes – I immediately looked it over for damage and was delighted to find that there was none! Point one in favour of this paddle. Warning: clicking links to MEO may feature explicit genitalia and/or explicit gifs.
You may note that MEO also sells the same paddle without holes, and you may be wondering which one to buy. While my initial thought is that “I want both!”, that really isn’t helpful. So instead:
- Paddles have a large, inflexible surface area. When swinging one without holes, air is trapped and forced to escape out the sides of the paddle, thus slowing down your swing and resulting in a gentler hit.
- The addition of holes gives the air a place to escape, thus increasing how aerodynamic it is, while also increasing the sting of the paddle.
- Some people also find they bruise easier when using paddles with holes due to how the skin squishes into the holes, but your mileage may vary, of course.
So if you’re like me, you decided that the Bulletproof Paddle with holes was what you wanted so that you’d have a bit of extra sting to your hits (seeing as my other new impact toys that I’m swooning over are Leatherbeaten’s Liquid Lightning and Liquid Truncheon, you know I’m in the mood for stingy toys!), and now you want to know what to expect from the toy.
It is lightweight and easy to grip without feeling awkward or overwhelming in my smallish hands, and this paddle is weighted nicely when you’re swinging it. It is a good multi-purpose toy; it’s main one I used on Insert Trans Here to warm her up for her first beating at SFS17, though she leveled up past it rather quickly (WHAT a pain tolerance on her, oh my!). With other partners, I’ve used it for both the warm up and a large chunk of the scene. I’ve found that, with most of the people I beat, the Bulletproof Paddle with holes works better as a warm up toy than the main event, but I’m sadistic and tend to play with people who enjoy receiving a lot of pain. If you’re not as into pain or are still new to impact play, this paddle would likely be something you would enjoy for a larger percentage of the scene.
This paddle is made from the same material that bulletproof glass is made from, so you can reasonably expect it to hold up under use, even if used heavily. It is long; the blade being 11″ and the handle adding another 7″, so the force of your swings is distributed over a decent amount of surface area.
By far my favourite thing about the Bulletproof Paddle with holes is what you see when the impact happens – not only do you see the butt flatten and squish upon impact, but you also get the pleasure of watching the bruises as they appear, through the paddle itself.
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