My Highlights from #HaveDildosWillTravel

At the end of April, I went on a road trip with Girly Juice, Bex, and Caitlin. Because we’re sex bloggers, we created a hashtag for the trip to document our adventures, and set off on #HaveDildosWillTravel. The three of them started the trip in NYC, but I joined them in Ohio.

From there, we went to Minneapolis, with a stop in Chicago, before Bex drove Girly Juice and I back to Toronto and returned to NYC with Caitlin. It was one week filled with so many amazing moments and I don’t have time to tell you about all of them, but instead I’ll simply give you some highlights!

1. Bex.

Bex deserves to get so much attention for this trip. They sent a couple “hey, I’m thinking of traveling…” messages and somehow the rest of us were instantly in (by “instantly” I mean it took me a few months of discussions on my end with partners, bosses, and wallets, but you know…I had to put a lot of thought into this trip). They discovered that they are a “Spreadsheet Dom” when they made a spreadsheet outlining when and where we would be stopping as well as what prices we should expect to be paying, and they booked our AirBnB. They were the only one in our group who could drive so they drove the entire way there and back. Bex is such a sweetheart and, if it wasn’t for them, there is absolutely no chance that this trip would have happened.

They also gave us each a gift at the start of the trip, which was mostly a collection of random things they didn’t want anymore – did I mention that they were moving a few days after the trip ended and they hadn’t even finalized the details of their new house?? Like I said, Bex is incredible.

2. Caitlin, Girly Juice, and all the lovely humans I met

Even though Girly Juice and I live in the same city, we see a disappointingly small amount of each other. Bex I rarely see, and Caitlin I had never met in person before but knew from the Interwebz (aka where I meet all my friends). While I was rather anxious about spending that much time with people I hadn’t spent much time with before, it ended up being really nice and I had all the fun and it really helped quiet my AnxietyBrain a little bit.

I also got a chance to meet so many amazing people along the way – from strangers in Minneapolis to the toy store owners/workers to some damn fine kinksters. Some of whom will be discussed below!

3. The total agreement that, while we liked each other, we also like the internet and everything must be documented. Sometimes in lieu of speaking to each other.

I am very social but also I need a lot of “me” time. The thought of spending a week with three other people that I had spent very little to no IRL time with – most of that time spent in a car with them – was kind of daunting to me. One thing that really helped me feel less anxious about the trip was knowing that we all felt the same about it. We each brought work with us and spent large chunks of the time ignoring each other for the sake of our phones, laptops, or tablets. We all understood that the internet is glorious and none of them made me feel bad or guilty for needing to retreat into my electronics for a while.

And we also all understood how important it was to document all the things – be it the mystery of Bug Tussel, Bex trying to figure out what kind of store we were at, or all of us collectively watching Girly Juice’s tweets for updates on her coffee date with her sex-positive idol (then having her tell us everything when she got home, anyway).

We documented everything, and it was the greatest decision.

4. Porn party!

On night two in Minneapolis, we hosted a porn party. I invited two cuties that I had been flirting with, not expecting both of them to show up, but they did. I am continuously amazed and puzzled that my method of seduction is as successful as it is.

The night was a little bit weird , in the best sort of way.

Yes, the above tweets refer to the two cuties I was flirting with. Yes, we were calling them Dragon and Face Tattoo. No, you don’t get any explanation on that front.

We watched Dylan Ryan peg Wolf Hudson, melted over Jiz Lee and Mickey Mod being so fucking gorgeous together, re-watched June Day’s orgasm a few times because, well, I had to. We had so much porn with us that we couldn’t even decide what we wanted to watch next.

5. Colouring!

There was a lot of colouring on this trip.

6. The sex stores/places

I doubt this comes as a surprise to anyone, but we visited a lot of sex stores along the way. And some, like the Chicago Leather Archives and Museum, that weren’t sex stores, but I’m putting in this category anyway because they’re close enough, I guess.

I had been to the LAM in December 2015 with one of my partners, but I had a blast going through it again on this trip.

Girly Juice found her “threesome life goals“, Bex was cute as fuck, and I found some $3000 art I wanted.

Bex standing next to a Silver Coast cutout
Bex excitedly exclaims “I am dick height! Take my picture!”
We also stopped by Smitten Kitten, Early to Bed, Tool Shed Toys, Leather 64 Ten, Hole Punch Toys, and Twin Cities Leather & Latte. Lots of toys, clothes, and accessories were bought. So much money was spent.

7. The sex

One of the first nights in Minneapolis, people had gone to bed and I was sexting, which led to masturbating. (I should note I was sleeping on the living room couch). Things were getting really good, then there was a big delay in the sexting replies…right when Bex started catching up on twitter. My phone started lighting up and I would grab at it, excited to see what the reply from my date was, only to be once again thwarted by Bex. Eventually, I opted to ignore my phone in favour of having an orgasm sans-Bex (sorry!), using my Fuze Harmony and Vibratex’ Mystic Wand. I was trying to test out some of my new toys from Tantus, but there were too many distractions to work up to it.

Almost instantly after I cleaned my toys and climbed back into bed, Bex snuck out of their bedroom and I sassily informed them that they invaded my masturbation, to which they profusely apologized. Grrr 😉

On my last night in Minneapolis, I had some really good, important sex on this trip. Since I wrote a lengthy post about that already, I won’t get into it again, but you should read all about it!

8. The leather

So many leather feels happened on this trip. I don’t know what to say about this other than that my life since returning to Toronto has had FAR too little leather in it and I wish we had a place like Twin Cities Leather and Lattes, which I’m about to describe…

9. Twin Cities Leather and Lattes

This is a continuation of both #6 and #8 but deserved to have a category of it’s own. Described on their website as “a community leather and kink retailer” that “pride[s] ourselves in being a business run by kinky people, for kinky people”, TCL was probably my favourite thing in Minneapolis.

Think coffee shop, kink store, and event space all in one. Think getting fit for some custom leather by the gorgeous Karri Plowman – one of the owners – as your coffee is delivered to you by a cute-as-hell barista. I doubt it’s a requirement that all the employees be hot, but they certainly are!

Did I mention that you can have your coffee served to you in a dog bowl? Or that people will hang out for hours in full gear, drinking coffee, maybe smoking, doing some work on their laptops?

Ugh. I want this in Toronto so bad.

10. Hole Punch Studios

I’m not going to go into much detail on this because I’m planning a post entirely devoted to our trip to the studio, but it was amazing. We got to meet Colin, the owner of Hole Punch Toys, and he gave us a tour of his studio/home. He also gave us a couple awesome goodies!