2017 is finally over. I can’t decide if it sped by or crawled, and I also can’t decide if it was good or bad overall, but I’m ready to move on to the next set of adventures. I’m not going to go over my entire last year, but I’ve pulled out some highlights (and lowlights) instead, plus what I’m excited for in 2018!
Some Things I’m Glad Have Passed
- I left my day job (again). I don’t know if I want to go back to that field ever, but I’m not ready to now. I’m much, much happier doing my own thing (as unstable as it is sometimes), I just feel a lot of pressure to get a “normal” job when I step outside of my bubble and need to interact with people (like family) for whom telling that I’m a sex worker/educator isn’t an
option. I love this career more than anything, but it requires me to be dishonest about who I am and what I’m passionate about with some people who are important to me. And I can never decide what I want to do about this.
- I no longer have a uterus and all the bull crap that comes with it!
- I started out the year dating a very sweet boy who dumped me very suddenly a little bit before I had surgery. It came out of nowhere (and tbh I don’t get dumped very often at all). It shook me for a number of reasons, and the “avoid the places the other one hangs out at” dance was annoying as hell, but it’s in the past.
- Some of my travel did not exactly go according to plan. I was stuck without places to stay, had my tickets to leave America revoked, accidentally booked tickets in the wrong direction and didn’t notice until it was way too late, was misgendered, groped, and called gay slurs. I had lost luggage and significantly delayed planes and aaaaallllll sorts of mishaps. But I got everywhere in one piece and didn’t end up too much worse for the wear.
- I’ve started/maintained/fostered some amazing new and old relationships. I’ve saved some failing ones (at least for now), and have been genuine and vulnerable even when I don’t want to be, even when it’s difficult. I had some kink scenes/connections that I can feel in the core of my being still, as they were with people who felt like home.
- I’ve pushed myself professionally – in my writing/work here, my workshops and panels, and my sex work – and I have lived up to what I set for myself. Always more to accomplish, and I haven’t succeeded at all of the goals I’ve set yet, but great progress is being made.
- I’ve pushed myself hard in kink – 2017 was a year where I learned new skills as a dominant (like rope!), worked on some of my trauma-limits as a submissive (like blood!), and in general had a higher number of intense, hard, edge play scenes that were both super hot and good for my personal growth.
- I traveled a whole heck of a lot! I was in Edmonton, DC, Philly, Baltimore, Ottawa, Northern Ontario, Iowa, Arlington, various smaller towns in Ontario, and possibly some other places? Several of those places I got a chance to visit for than once.
- I had absolutely no major health concerns this year, physical or mental. I wasn’t always healthy, but I was never in bad shape.
- I taught skill shares, workshops, and at conferences both in Toronto (a lot) and other places as well, including international. I filmed things that have won awards. Got some major interviews done, podcasts, and publications on other sites.
Adventures I’m Looking Forward to in 2018
- I’m going to try and present at more conferences. I’m nervous as hell speaking in front of a crowd, but I also love it. I have eight different potentials on my list (Playground is confirmed already!), so who knows where I’ll end up.
- More travel! I’m going to be in a few places in 2018 that I’ve been trying to get to for a while, such as Montreal and Ohio, and I’ll be going to more conferences and an international wedding for someone I love!
- More pushing my brain’s limits. It’s always good to get yourself to a place where the hard things don’t make your body physically react in an immediate and intense way. It’s difficult work, and not always possible, but very worthwhile when it does work out.
- Continue to prioritize authentic and intense connections, and intense and challenging kink spaces. People who make me feel on fire and things that make my brain quietly focus.
How was your year? Are you walking away from negative stuff, or looking forward to things that are yet to come? Got some great things planned for 2018? I’d love to hear!
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