What a fucking month this has been, I can honestly hardly believe it. It just flew by, and I came out much further ahead than I thought that I would.
It started like a pile of flaming shit, but led to some good upcoming changes – as I mentioned in my last update, I plan on transitioning to only living in Toronto part-time in the new year, and I’m really looking forward to that! It seems that DC will be my first stop (predictably, I know) in January or February for a few months before coming home, then heading elsewhere for a few more – maybe Montreal? Who knows! I’m more likely to go live somewhere that I know I’ll have work (or a cheap, private place to live), so let me know if that could be your city!
A lot happened that I’ll be writing individual pieces on later, but here are some of the more brief highlights!
I traveled for about three weeks, this time to:
DC and Baltimore (and surrounding area)
-Food play with Indigo!
-I rang in my 27th birthday at Mr BLK’s party at the Baltimore Playhouse (which was surprisingly well-stocked – it even has the giant bear that my dominant used to own!) with Indigo, my favourite polycule, and their gorgeous friends, sitting in a spaceship-like captain’s chain, getting my winter boots blacked so well that they look like an entirely new pair.
-Sometimes kink can be romantic af.
-First time in Saskatchewan (which is a province, though I’m sure you’ve never heard of it)!
-I was just there for a few days, but I got to meet Nillin! Nillin has been one of my favourite humans since we met online, both interning at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health together back in 2016! I literally never expected to meet them or their partners, but I did! We judged donuts, ate far too much rice, made silly morning sounds, took silly bed selfies, did rope while Nillin was fucking weird, laughed at their partner after Nillin was fucking weird, spent some quality time with their very cute cat (who is incredibly annoying in the morning!), and more! Read what Nillin had to say about my visit!
-It was amazing, and I can’t wait to go back and see them again!
-I was in town for another wonderful reason, though. And that reason gave me some delicious jam! I don’t know if you know, but I am a big fan of jam. Also I have been known to make it! (No, the jam wasn’t the highlight, but that’s all I’m sharing!)
-The Grey Cup came to Edmonton, which isn’t something that matters to me at all, but with it came free hot chocolate, snowboarding, zip lining, and bungee jumping! Now THAT is something I care about! I took advantage of that and, while the bungee jumping was fairly lackluster, the whole “stepping off a four story building” thing sure got my heart pumping!
Work & Misc
-I made the Kinkly’s Top 100 list, and their Top 10 LGBTQ blogs! Now, Kinkly has had their share of problems in the past (and currently), and last year I, and many others, opted out of the ranking. Despite this, I signed back up this time around. And while I still have many reservations about their list and how they run their business, this year’s list is filled with what is, to me, some of the best (and most diverse) names that I’ve ever seen it have, and I am happy to be included amongst them, especially on the shortlist for LGBTQ blogs.
-I also ranked #31 on Molly’s Daily Kiss’ Top 100 Bloggers list! This one I’m actually pretty proud of, and frankly I’m surprised to be so high on that list (up from number 83 in the 2017 list and 92 in 2016‘s). This list is chock full of amazing educators who you may or may not have heard of, and it’s well-worth looking into them if you haven’t! Thank you to all who nominated me for either list!
-My site was a bit lighter on the updates this month (due to travel and the messy start), but I published my spotlight on Obsession Rouge and two pieces on Oxyd Creations – Dress Me in Bike Tubes; my first-ever kinky fashion piece for trans folks; and Chest Fucking, Back Riding, Waist Ouching; a standard review of an extremely versatile harness for kinksters.
-For the first time ever (!), a session with a client was interrupted, by an air conditioner inspector, of all things! It was, uh, highly embarrassing, but he seemed to still like me, so that’s good? Hopefully that won’t happen again…
-My aunt mixed up who I was and called me a “newlywed” on my birthday, causing a mini family meltdown in the middle of a wonderful visit I was having with Caz. It was sorted out in the end, but I was fielding “when did you get married?”/”why didn’t you tell us?” questions for many days after.
-I also made a new watermark! I’ll be tinkering with it a little bit more, but I’ve been meaning to put a fox on it for a while and I’m pretty happy with it now.
-My mom never told me when I graduated (five years ago) that she wanted me to get grad photos. Until this year. So I pretended to be 21 again and got some photos done as a Christmas gift! The whole thing was absurd, but I’m glad I got them done for her (and seeing how last month I finally got around to getting my diploma, it’s almost as if I’m an actual graduate)!
Oh, and my boyfriend peed on our cat.
Sex Blogger Stats
- The survey is closed! I reveived 75 responses (some of which were duplicates and some of which were from people outside the industry, so there are slightly fewer usable responses).
- From here, I’ll be making some graphs of the data, eventually writing that up in a post which will be found under the “Community Resources” tab on my site (and eventually the guidebook itself).
- I’d love to be able to click on a portion of the data and see what that specific group answered for other questions. Do you know a way to do this? I’d love it if you could let me know, because it would be useful and I don’t have a clue.
- Don’t know what this is all about? It’s intended to gather stats on the industry which will then be used as a way to more effectively track where you are and how you compare with your peers, depending on demographics.
- A few people have started sending in quotes, hooray! Big thanks to Pleasure Connoisseurs, Helen’s Toy Box, and Coffee and Kink for their input <3
- I’m trying to find a way to import some spreadsheets into WordPress but haven’t found a way that really works. Any suggestions (for non-tech people) would be appreciated!
- Don’t know what this is all about? People have said that they need transparent access to information. This guidebook will contain information ranging from setting up a site to making pitches to where you can appear in podcasts/guest posts/twitter chats to common pitfalls to dealing with imposter syndrome and more. This book will be free and publicly available on the internet for everyone to access. Get in touch to contribute!
- Thanks to an increase in Patreon pledges, I’ve reached out about hiring someone to help with adding alt text, and they will (hopefully) be starting soon!
- Want to help? I’ve come up with several enticing and permanent ways you can advertise through my site while sponsoring accessibility. Email me to hear more! Anyone can sponsor; companies, manufacturers, other educators, or anyone with a website, and there are options for every budget!
- Don’t know what this is all about? I’m working to improve the accessibility of my site by adding alt text to all images without them; making sure all the posts have accurate trigger warnings where needed; going over the language I’ve used and correcting anything that I notice to be offensive, rude, or incorrect; and adding audio recordings of me reading my essays to each piece.
10 travel-friendly sex toys that discreetly fit in a sunglasses case (Via Super Smash Cache)
Traveling? Staying with people who are likely to snoop through your stuff? Want to make sure you have some dildos and vibrators with you anyway? Super Smash Cache has created a great guide to her ten most recommended sex toys that you can discreetly fit into a sunglasses case!
Bondage Review: Halloween Pumpkin Ball Gag by Geeky Sex Toys (Via the Siren)
Heck. Cute gags are such an intense weakness of mine! I’m not even a huge Halloween/spooky person, but this little pumpkin ball gag?! Freaking adorable. The photos that the Siren includes are gorgeous, and she discusses the main concern I’d have for this gag – does a pumpkin actually make for a comfortable gag??
Fucking Friends: Why I Need Ethical Non-Monogamy in My Polyamory (Via Mx Nillin)
Obviously this one is going to be included on my list. Nillin wrote a sweet and dirty account of my visit with them, and why they liked me fucking their partner! Plus, they recount why non monogamy is important for their mental health. It’s also full of some cute photos, and some silly photos of me giving them a blowjob.
The Problem with Princess Plugs (Via Submissive Feminist)
I complain regularly about why I don’t like princess plugs, despite how cute they are, because they aren’t actually anal safe. And yet it has literally never occurred to me to write about this! Submissive Feminist’s piece on this topic is amazing, well-written, and also includes a lengthy list of more body-safe alternatives. Now, instead of ranting about this topic at length, I’m simply going to grumble and forward this link instead!
Top. (Via Lupe Space)
I love reading about people discovering that they’re a dominant or submissive, top or bottom. I love learning why they connect with what they do, and how it’s different for them as what they were doing before. In the piece Top, Lupe Space shares two scenes that helped her realize that she is a top, and how these experiences changed her. It’s really sweet.
Did you accomplish something this month that you were proud of or read any of the above pieces? Leave a comment on their site or share them on social media to let them know you liked what they wrote!
Thanks to the above authors for their amazing work and to my Patrons Kaja and Jordan for helping to sponsor this post!